He had this unforgettable gleam in his eyes whenever she spoke to him or held his hand, and the awe in his face when he touched her bulging tummy was haunting. ‘It was supposed to be me…’ I knew I had thought it a million times. It wasn’t fair. I had always loved this man, even through all the hell he put me through. It made me angrier. I wanted more answers. I wanted to choke that woman. I wanted to fight, scream, yell…anything. But more than anything, I wanted that baby. It would cause them both so much suffering. I would feed off of the agony and negative energy they would produce. But it wasn’t so. I wanted something I couldn’t have. So, finally having enough of spying, I turned away and left. Late that night, I stood looking at myself in the full-length mirror, naked. I stared at myself disgusted as I compared myself to her. I was now five foot two, not much different than before James and I met. My skin color had fluctuated over the time, though it was still apparent that I had. .. I'd wondered for a long time what the girl she'd fallen in love with was like. To take Sarah's heart so totally meant that you had to be special. And then, unbelievably, you came to me. And I could hate you for what you meant to Sarah, and because loving you had given her the strength to dominate me. I could do to you all the things I could never do with Sarah, because she did them to me. That's the way it was. Believe it or not, I became her sub, every bit as much as I was your Mistress."Edie never really understood. I was such a mess, such a bitch to the poor girl, she deserved much better than me ... She learned a long slow bitter lesson; that threesomes really don't work, in the long run. Someone always gets left out... "Why do you think you never saw my body in those days? Sure, in some ways it suited my purpose to remain as remote as possible, but far too often I looked like you after a heavy session, and I don't heal half as quickly. The only time I was ever naked with you.
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